Teacher asks class of 9 year olds to write poems for homework and the following day asks who would like to read theirs out. Sam stands up and reads his. My names sam and when i grow up to be a man i want to visit china and japan maybe if i can. Super says teacher and asks sadie to read hers. Sadie says my names sadie and when i grow uo to be a lady i want to have a baby maybe if i can. Well done says teacher and asks dan to read his. Dan stands up proudly and says my names dan and when i grow up to be a man i am going to get sadie and give her that baby never mind maybe i bloody well am.

don't get it

Pupils - Part of your eye!!!!



Bloody women... :p

Did you hear why the school closed after it was ran by a Cyclops?



It only had one pupil.





Ta-raaa

get it now

clueless

A blonde takes her broken down car for repair. The mechanic fixes it in two minutes.



"Just in the air filter" he says.



"How often do I have to do that?" the blonde replies.

lol

Never mix viagra with laxatives......it makes you crap in bed.



or viagra with sleeping pills........you'll have 40 w@nks.

heard that before.....



still funny

Could somebody please wake greenday up???????

haha thats dead good, cos its october right??

I was walking down the street yesterday,and someone threw a block off chesse at me.I thought thats not very mature.

yeah

How do you know if someone has an iPhone?

They tell you!





Missed an episode of The Inbetweeners? Don't worry, catch the entire ing episode on Facebook.





News: 'Boy George's reptile bites 5 people in one day.'

He needs a calmer chameleon.

last one was funny

My wife has just told me she's leaving me because I never listen to her.



God knows why she's leaving me...

mmm.... typical man never listens

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."

Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.

???

The inflatable school teacher in the inflatable school said to the inflatable pupil "as a result of you messing about with that pin, you have not only let yourself down but you have let me down and the rest of the class"

try saying WHALE, OIL, BEEF, HOOKED, without sounding irish

Mummy whats that inbetween your legs...

Oh its my sponge,

Why do you ask,

Its that i have just seen mi dad washing his face with the womens next door...







Two flies on a toilet seat,

One says to the other,

When you thinking of leaving,

The other one says when i get peed off..



Ive had enough of this says the other one...

Next week im going on the sick!!!



Load of kids in class,

Teacher says i would like a sentence with the word Definatley in it.......



Yes sarah;The grass is definatley green;Well done sarah,

Yes patrick;The sky is definatley blue ;well done patrick,

Little johnny;Miss as wind got lumps in it,no johnny why???

Little johnny well in that case ive DEFINATLEY shat miself...